Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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