I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
