She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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