I want to have your abortion
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize