I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
