we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
