what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
