Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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