cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
