dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
