come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
