Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
