Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
