for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
