Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
