I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
