the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
