Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
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his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
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my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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