yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
