why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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