is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
