y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
