white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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