I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize