theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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