using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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