two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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