I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
