so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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