I don't think brook has ever known best
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
