Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
