You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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