I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
