i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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