He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
