imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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