im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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