I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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