You made me cry and you don't even care
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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