it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Come see our sink grown plant.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
