Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
