dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
