i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
