It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
