dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
