i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
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I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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