I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
