There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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