i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
