I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
