Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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