I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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