He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
this boner is exhausting
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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