So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
