tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
