It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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