I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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