She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
