I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
