she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize