i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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